Frog and Goat

Your personality may not get you fired, but poor grammar and bad spelling are clearly the way to a pink slip.

Ok, so I’m sick. I hate that stuffy head, scratchy throat feeling, don’t you? And, to top it off, I couldn’t sleep last night. I have problems sleeping during a full moon (it isn’t the light shining in since we practically have blackout curtains) so last night when I should have been sleeping to heal myself, I was on the couch reading The Book of Salt. Which is quite excellent so far.

And, since I’m blaming my allergies and insane weather for my sickness, this next paragraph didn’t just come from nowhere. I realize that hurricane season doesn’t officially end until the end of November, but if it is okay with everyone let’s just pretend it is over and not have any more this year. I know Floridians are tired of them and believe you me those of us who live farther up the coast are sick of them too.

I think I’m getting a cold. My throat is a little sore and my head feels like it may explode at a moment’s notice. It is either a cold or this crazy weather. Either way, I’m leaving work early to take a nap.

As if the possibility of a cold looming isn’t enough, I’m totally frustrated by a web page that is supposed to work like all other web pages on this earth. Did you know that on a certain web page if you use the BACK button, you get “Cannot Find Server” instead of the list of items you painstakingly picked to view? Yeah, pisses me off. Why have a web page if you aren’t going to build it correctly?

I thought I could keep this story to myself, but, as it turns out, I can’t. While we were at the memorial service this week, I was asked if I was a child’s father. The child in question was standing next to his actual father. I think the kid and I were the only ones who heard the question. The kid looked at me funny. I tried to keep a straight face. Normally, I’d be all “I am woman hear me roar” but the stupid person who asked was an old lady and she was at the memorial service of a friend of hers. She corrected herself almost immediately. I should hope so. I was wearing a black suit (no way was I going to spend upwards of 8 hours in the car wearing hose and a dress), modest heels, jewelry, some makeup (not a lot–mostly just around the eyes, but lipstick was part of the package) and carrying a purse. Episcopalians are very welcoming of all God’s children, but I’m pretty sure the deceased wasn’t friends with any cross-dressers.

Yesterday, we went to PA to attend the memorial service for our friend’s father. For those of you unfamiliar with roads in Virginia, the most direct route for us to take to the town in PA was north on I-95 and then cut over on I-495 (the Capital Beltway) and then pick up some other roads to get to PA. This area of I-95 and I-495 is known as the “mixing bowl” and is currently undergoing an 8-year project to make it better. It is scheduled to be finished in 2007. Personally, it seems like this project has been going on my whole adult life…kind of like the Big Dig for those people in the Boston area. Seriously, there’s a whole population of teens in the Boston area who never knew life before the Big Dig. Scary, isn’t it? I digress.

Continue reading →

I’m sick of bugs. The gnat population in our yard alone tops 1.2 gazillion. I’m sick of them being in my eyes, drinks and food. I want a cold snap and I want it now.

And, the spiders. Lord have mercy, the spiders. Normally, we have a “live and let live” attitude with the spiders because they eat the other bugs that tick us off (did I mention how many gnats we have). But, I’m sick of walking into spider webs. I’m sick of dead things hanging in my kitchen window.

Continue reading →