I took the day off and trimmed bushes, cut the grass in the front yard and washed my car for the first time in more than six months. It was still vaguely white, but not really. The better-half and I went out for lunch (SUSHI!!!) and when we came home there was a massive track of splashy bird shit all along the passenger side window and door. It had been less than 2 hours.
Find it, please