Frog and Goat

Years and years ago, Leon, the cat, and I would sit on our side stoop and discuss how great it would be to have a screened porch. Even when the better-half and I demolished the stoop, Leon and I would sit in the rubble and imagine how great the porch would be.

Fast forward to the past week and a half. Leon is addicted to the porch. He can’t get enough of it. He sits out there even if it is 90 degrees and the humidity is crazy. This is the cat who has pulled out his fur because it is too hot for him. He wants to spend the night out there which is fine if it is cool enough for us to leave the door to the house open. Lately, though, it has been jungle moist and hot outside so the door is closed.

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I realize that some people didn’t enjoy their high school government class as much as I did. But, if you have achieved a high rank in the US military you should understand some basic tenets….like, oh, I don’t know–the separation of church and state. I realize the lines blur a bit sometimes. Generally if you want your kids learning religion in school you spend the big bucks.

So, I say retired General Pickney just shut up.

Wicked meaning Good: I took the car to get its state inspection and I paid $0.00 for it. That’s reason #4567 of why I love my Honda.

Wicked meaning Bad: the UPS store won’t ship a package for me because it contains wine and must cross state borders. I told them that incourages lying on my part. They said if the package got damaged and wine leaked out they could be fined $65K. That’s just wrong.

I’m making a concerted effort to switch over to Firefox as my browser of choice on my machine here at the office. I like its speed and the pop-up blocker feature. It takes a bit getting used to using tabs but I’m making the effort. The design is aesthetically pleasing and I hope that the usability will be pleasing as well.

I’m moving icons, bookmarks, etc. around to make it easier to break my IE habit. And, let me say it is going to be a hard habit to break. I’ve been an IE drone for years and years.

I don’t have a darn thing to talk about this morning so I thought I’d share my tale of woe. Get out the hankies.

I have never been to a Disney theme park.

I believe my growth as a person has been stunted and I may never fully realize my potential because of this. I also believe that some day I will go to a Disney theme park, but I’m not sure when since I spend nearly every second of my life trying to figure out ways to avoid large crowds of people who stand in the hot, hot sun on asphalt. My time of accepting wet dollar bills at KD (exactly why were the bills wet–water ride or sweat?) has made me afraid of large groups of people looking for obvious landmarks. (How my people skillz were honed–Their question: Where’s the Eiffel Tower? My answer: Look Up. )

What everyone has been waiting for: Today’s Rant! Hip, Hip, Hooray!

I have a cousin who is graduating from High School today. While this should fill me with pride, I’m feeling a bit like a freakin’ ATM. This kid barely says 4 words at any family function and usually those 4 words include the reciprocal word “Hi” to my “Hi”.

I could spot him in a crowd but I don’t really know him at all. We’re technically peers in the family tree, but, let’s face it, I have always been an adult as long as he has been on this planet. So, it kind of bugs me that we got a graduation announcement. We certainly weren’t invited to the graduation or anything remotely resembling a celebration. We just got hit up for money.

So, dude, congratulations. Your twenty is in the mail.

I found out something the other day about presidents when they leave office–they have to plan their funerals. Which I think is kind of strange considering how young Bill Clinton was when he left office. I wonder what kind of details they must make–like who will speak and that kind of thing. If a president were to live a very long time, the people he/she tapped to speak could have passed on before.

I have thought about my funeral which I don’t think is strange at all. Go figure. One night I even wrote down some details for the better-half. I’ll have to find that piece of paper and see if my choices still ring true.

Basically, what I want is to be cremated and then a big party thrown. I have a few musical and food requests. I draw the line though at any death games. No guessing how many mini-coffins fit into a mason jar or anything of that sort. Unless, of course, a really good prize could be had.