Frog and Goat

Know how when someone leaves an office you are supposed to “steal” all the left behind supplies? It took me until today to realize that I didn’t have to sit in a squeaky-mcsqueak chair. It has been a non-stop squeak-fest at my desk for years with the floor boards that are haunted house creaky and the chair from squeak hell. I’m now sitting in a different chair and I don’t know why I didn’t think to switch chairs when the previous owner left in August.

There are two of us holding down the fort this week and if I have to smack the UPS man, I will because he rings the bell and then slams the mail slot until someone answers the door. This is the UPS man that delivers here on a nearly daily basis and is perfectly aware that nearly everyone in the building was laid off. So, it takes a minute to get to the front door to let him in. There’s no cause for slapping the mail slot and repeated bell ringing.

Speaking of declaring war (smooth segue). Yesterday I was cutting the grass that runs along the road and I realized the jack-off who lives next door (we’ve never met–we can’t even see his house or driveway) dumped his lawn mower grass bin thingy on our side of the line. He’s done this before and I let it slide. Yesterday it pissed me off so I stopped the lawn mower and then scooped that crap back over the line into his side and called him an asshole. Not that he or anyone else was around to hear my fury, but I figured from my mouth to his ear in a karma kind of way.