Frog and Goat

The better-half and I like to play cards and sometimes we end up playing several times a week. We typically play one of two games: casino or rummy. Last night we were playing casino and eating chips and dip when the better-half asked me if I knew anyone who plays cards. I told him I couldn’t think of anyone. I know people who don’t mind playing board games, but cards is a different story.

He told me that our little set-up (big bowl of chips and dip, cards, booze) reminded him of when he was little and his parents got together with another couple to play cards (only they didn’t have the booze).

Some of my fondest memories growing up are of playing cards, especially playing cards at my grandparents’ house. We’d all sit around a huge dining room table and the adults had whatever their beverage of choice was and my grandmother fixed up a concoction of homemade grape juice and Wink for the kids. Then we’d snack and play cards. Usually we’d play crazy eights, but with all the crazy extra rules that you can throw in–reverse, pick up extra cards, etc.

Additionally, my dad and I would start a rummy game at the beginning of summer and finish right before school started. We’d play a hand to 500, write down our score and pick up the next day. Sometimes we’d play several games to 500 in a day. I have no idea how huge our final scores got to be.

The cat just made his patented “oh good god I’m dying” noise and since I’ve only heard him make that noise when he really feels bad, I jumped up to see where he was. He was standing in the upstairs hallway about 2 feet from the carpeted end of the house–where he is not allowed to go. He was doing that thing cats do just before they hurl. I quickly walked over to him and under the guise of rubbing his back and shoulders (to make him feel better, of course) I moved him around so there was no worry of anything hitting that carpet.

The poor little guy hacked up some freshly chewed grass blades and then hurried down the stairs. He looked back to make sure I cleaned up the mess. I told him that he didn’t have to run away so fast since I was trying to make him feel better. He knew I was just looking out for the carpet so he flicked his tail and went into the family room.

I got paid on Thursday and it was a paper check (the place I work demands everyone have direct deposit but since there were so many screw-ups with my paperwork, I got a paper check). The better-half deposited it on Friday morning.

Saturday we went online and we bought a new laptop since my old one dies unexpectedly and is a flaming hunk of shit. Since we were buying, I also bought an MP3 player. Which is also totally justifiable since my office is so quiet it is like working in a tomb and while I like quiet it is ridiculously quiet. Luckily, I get a pretty decent discount because of my place of employment. Oh, what’s left of that check? Nothing. Spent in 48 hours on electronics–sweet.

I was given the opportunity to watch a newly revised skills course today continuing into tomorrow. I had clear instructions to introduce myself to the trainer and make it clear that I wasn’t there to evaluate. Apparently, that tends to throw a trainer off. It never threw me off when I was the trainer but different strokes. I was also told to keep quiet, observe and avoid participating in activities. Which was fine with me because I have no background in the subject and anyone I was paired up with would have asked to switch partners.

I was instructed to take notes on whether or not the new handouts and transparencies worked or not. “Worked” meaning if the color scheme was too much and made the transparencies hard to read. They aren’t hitting on much. The trainer is a little flighty. If I were still in junior high, I’d describe her as a spaz. She definitely knows her stuff though so it equals out, I suppose.

It was really hard today staying awake. I don’t know if it was the time change, the not breathing thing last night or what but I was seriously tired today. And, I hate it when people snooze through a training class. I did every trick I know to stay awake and am happy to say that I was successful.

Yesterday afternoon, I fertilized the lawn (or what passes for it) and then used the weed eater along the foundation and sidewalk. As I was doing all of this I thought about what regime change means to me and let me tell you I’m going to be a lot more successful than the regime change we’re so used to talking about. There’s a new queen in town.

The people who lived in this house before us did nothing to the exterior of the house. We’re not sure they ever did anything on the inside except let one of their kids sacrifice small animals in his bedroom (you should have seen the carpet).

Today we’re ripping out the offensive foundation plants, keeping the ones we like and planting some hostas. We’re also going to rip out all the roots that are on top of the ground trying to burrow into the foundation. This crazy, free-wheeling, overgrown nonsense is stopping today. My regime may not always be neat and tidy but it isn’t going to be craptastic.

Thursday evening we went to Kroger to pick up a prescription and to buy just enough groceries to pop us over the $100 mark of saved points. Our Kroger does a gasoline promotion that basically saves you 10 cents per gallon of gas for every $100 you spend. I used the last 10 cents off when I filled up last Sunday. The promotion ended today. We put what we thought was enough in the cart. After checking out, I checked our total and we topped out at $94. The better-half stopped on the way home and bought toilet paper. It was enough to send us to $103. Woohoo, cheap gas!

While in the booze aisle (drugs, tobacco and alcohol don’t count towards the promotion), I snagged some Yuengling and the better-half collected some wines. I was standing in the way of a woman who really should just stop drinking. Period. Forever. She was blonde and of a certain age. Her skin was boiled pink and she was wrapped tighter than a tick in a very short and tacky skirt. She was also wearing some sort of short rain coat. She couldn’t have been more Mechanicsville if she tried. I got out of her way because she was a little frightening and she was honing in on the Miller Lite. She grabbed a suitcase of Miller Lite and sent the next one over crashing to the floor. She looked at me and said “don’t buy that one” and put it back on the shelf. Then she staggered towards the cash registers.