I Made Pee Pee In The Potty

Last night we got a phone call from The Niece, actually my sister dialed the phone but The Niece was on the line pretty darn fast. And, this is what she said, “I Made Pee Pee In The Potty”. This, my friends, is BIG news. So big in fact that you don’t need to read the newspaper or watch tonight’s news show because everything else will pale in comparison. The Niece made Pee Pee In The Potty. She’s a potty training genius. She is.

An aside, she’s also the most polite 2 1/2 year old ever. After she told me the good news and I gave her a verbal high-five, she asked “May I speak to -insert better-half’s name here-?” That’s right she said May I. Not “let me speak to” or “I want to talk to”, but “May I”. The child is marvelous and she made Pee Pee In The Potty.

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I Heard It But Can’t Find It

This morning on the way in to work, I heard a brief segment on NPR about a painting that a municipality paid for and had to then cough up another $6,000 to pay the painter to fix. Was the painting something obscene–like David with a boner and the city wanted a fig leaf? No. The painting depicts famous people and lists their names. The painter misspelled something like 12 names of famous people. Not just any famous people but people that changed the world–like Einstein. People we’re all supposed to know and readily identify.

Correct me if I’m completely out in left field on this, but if I deliver misspelled words to the client, I fix them. I don’t charge another $6,000 because I was an idiot.

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Home Work

When we met with our realtor last week, she did a walk-through of the house and pointed out things that we should repair, paint or replace so that we’d be in a better position to get a buyer to write us a nice fat check for the house. Last Friday afternoon we went to Home Depot and filled a cart with all manner of supplies. The cart was full. The bottom rack was full too.

On Saturday and Sunday while fighting off colds (with varying degrees of success), we managed to repair the silverware drawer, replace 3 bathroom faucets (one bathroom has two sinks) and installed a light fixture in the master bath.

Every time I open the silverware drawer I chuckle to myself. I usually yank it open with lots of force because it has been broken for the almost 9 years we’ve lived there. Now, it just glides open without so much a squeak. It makes me chuckle that the repair cost us $3 and an hour of our time.

The bathroom light fixture replaces the two wires (complete with wire nuts) that have been hanging down out of the ceiling for almost 9 years. The new fixture doesn’t cover the hole so that will get repaired soon. In case you are gasping that we haven’t had overhead light in our master bath for 9 years, please take a deep breath and realize we have another light that does a nice enough job. You can, however, go back to gasping about the fact that we’ve had wires hanging out of the ceiling for 9 years. I gasp and I live like that. The new light doesn’t get turned on much because I forget that the switch now works. I’ve walked past that impotent switch for years. That’s a habit I probably won’t break in the time we’ll live with that new light.

The remaining home work list is still pretty long but some of it is easy stuff–painting our bedroom, installing recessed lighting in the hall bathroom and getting someone else to scrape and re-gravel the driveway. There are some bigger jobs and one I hope we tackle this weekend is putting vinyl tile in the kitchen. The tiles have been sitting in the dining room acclimating to the house and we have all the necessary supplies (cleaner, floor leveling compound, trowels, etc). The current kitchen floor is atrocious and is part of the reason I’ve always hated the kitchen.

Don’t worry there’s no reason to think we’ll take a look at the results of our labor and decide not to sell. Dressing up the house is one thing but that kitchen will never get any bigger.

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It Really Bugs Them

This morning I ran the car over to Jiffy Lube for an oil change and I took my copy of Linux for Non-Geeks to read while I waited. Since it is a beautiful fall day, I sat in one of the chairs outside and started reading.

After a few minutes a man and woman came around the side of the building. He walked with a cane and she had that hard smoker’s skin. You know what I mean. Women smokers of a certain age have that tough skin on their faces. No amount of moisturizing or retinol is going to repair that damage. Reason #456 not to smoke. I digress.

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No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition

No one expected the Spanish Inquisition and, yet, that’s exactly what they got.

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Mmmm Chocolate

Today while making a deposit at the local Wachovia, we received a Hershey’s Kiss. It’s customer appreciation week and they are handing out chocolate. I haven’t gotten a treat while at a bank’s drive-through since I was about 5. Back then, the treat was usually a Dum-Dum sucker. I love the root beer flavored Dum-Dum sucker. I guess you could say I’m a sucker for that flavor of sucker.

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Helena!

We have a laundry chute in our hallway that dumps out on the boy’s side of the garage. We’ve never understood why a laundry chute and why on that side of the garage. The washer and dryer are on the other side and as far as we can tell they’ve always been there since that’s where the plumbing is. We’ve never used the laundry chute for anything other than a way to communicate with each other if one of us is in the garage. We open the chute door and yell. I think I once sent a beer down to the better-half using the chute but I can’t remember how I could have gotten it safely down the chute without breaking the bottle.

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Lights Went Out

The other week the better-half and I were listening to one of our “mellow gold” compilations and the Vicky Lawrence song “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia” got stuck in the better-half’s head. Today, while getting ready for work he asked me a question about the soap opera that is that song. As he could tell, I wasn’t really prepared to answer the question (because I honestly couldn’t remember some of the nuances of the story) and so he asked me if the sheriff had buttstains on his hands. That made me laugh and I said no, silly, it’s bloodstains.

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Big Decision

With a pound and half of teeth-gnashing, hair-pulling and clothes-rending, we’ve decided to sell our house. The whole renovate the kitchen and basement has had us frozen, indecisive and hand-wringy. It would be really expensive to do and, frankly, we’re just not the ones to do it.

Today at noon we’re meeting with the realtor who helped us through the home-buying process years ago. We’re actually going to look at a house in the Hanover Courthouse area and then our realtor is going to come to our house and see what’s happened in the last 9 years. Hopefully, we’ll be able to put the house on the market in the next month. We need to get B-Dry to do the last stretch of basement wall. We left that small piece out of the original project because we thought that piece was going to be part of the renovation. I really can’t leave the house only 90% dry. It will be interesting to see what else the realtor thinks we should do to make our house sell, sell, sell.

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Blame it on the Sudafed

I have successfully passed my cold funk to the better-half. That means I’ll soon be well, right? Neither one of us slept a wink last night. The good news is when I turned the light off at 4:22 am, I was finished with The Book of Salt. I am so glad I read it and only wish I had read it sooner.

Some items that are either amusing me or jerking my chain:
I’m not really bothered that we still don’t have local channels when there is TWP to read. Seriously, why should I waste my time watching ER when the break-down on TWP is dead-on? That show has seriously jumped the shark. Die, already.

Geico, your new commercials are just as bad as your old commercials. I heard that the Geico lizard is/was appearing at the VA State Fair. Perhaps, it is a really good thing that I haven’t been to the fair because I’d walk out of there with lizard goo on my shoe.

Is it Axe that has mannequins in their ads and women are about to throw down with the mannequins? That’s just stupid.

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