Frog and Goat

We talked to the guy from the renovation/design group yesterday. He walked around our backyard and through parts of the house. Then he told us he wasn’t sure that his group was able to do the project for what we had hoped. In fact, the price he quoted would be more than enough for us to go out and buy something else. It was a quote that most people would be happy to hear from their real estate agent when a seller is interested. Even though our property is worth more than the price he quoted, it would make our property so completely out of market. We live in an area that is semi-hot right now and we have 7 acres and all the houses from the intersection to our house are nice and huge, but our house is a brick rancher from the early 70s.

As much as I like our house it will always be a brick rancher from the early 70s. I’m not going to go all “Before and After” on the house turning it into a manse where the original house is lost. We’re trying to figure out another way to get what we want but not spend almost as much as we paid for the house 8 years ago. Yes, you heard me, for a modest addition (1 room, albeit, a kitchen) we were quoted a price that was just a little shy of what we paid for the whole kit and caboodle 8 years ago.

Granted we have some slope issues–our house stands on top of a hill and we’re towards the part of the hill that goes down a ravine/gully. We have maybe 50 feet of backyard and then it slopes into a wood that eventually runs into a creek. With that knowledge, whatever gets added on has to deal with that “feature” of the property. It does make a difference about exactly where the addition goes and how the slope of the yard and the basement all play into the construction. Did I mention the quote discounted our need for making the basement livable?

We’re re-grouping and we’ve decided to take the guy’s suggestion to talk to a builder or maybe get some design help from the original firm. My “have-to-happens” are these: the basement must be useable; the washer and dryer have to come out of the garage; the kitchen must be expanded; the price can’t put our house out-of-market.

I had hoped, foolishly, that the guy we talked to would give us the answer we needed. Instead we’re still in the land of what-are-we-going-to-do.

As it turns out, I’m a monkey too.

The other night I had dinner with my friend A. and when she got to the restaurant I had already ordered a margarita. She was grumpy and I said get a margarita and let me hear all about it. We didn’t actually talk about the thing that made her grumpy that afternoon because the wound was still raw, but we did get some good conversation in and it was good conversation and not just Rant A followed by Rant B followed up with Spleen Venting 1, 2 and 3.

The boiled down point of the evening (at least in my mind) is this…why is it that certain family members seem less and less likeable the older we get? Why is it that we both have members of our families who feel that it is OK to dump on everyone else and use guilt, anger and other passive aggressive behaviour to get what they want and damn everyone else? Has this cycle been going on for generations and we never noticed because we were kids when it was happening to our parents or is this something new?

I’m a fairly perceptive person and I never remember hearing (even when I wasn’t supposed to listen to what my parents were saying) my parents complain about in-laws, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. treating them like dirt. So I don’t understand how we got to a place where the people who are supposed to love you the most treat you the worst. If everyone sort of chuckles into their sleeves or hangs their head when they hear that then why isn’t something done about it? I’m not talking grand gestures just that promise you make to yourself that you aren’t going to be like that when you grow up. And, you don’t need to be 5 when you make that promise. You can be 25, 35 or 45…I believe we’re all growing up until the day we die.