Frog and Goat

I’ve been super busy today which is an amazing thing. I ate lunch at my desk and sort of worked while I ate my sandwich–hard to type, read and chew. This is probably only the 3rd time all year I’ve had to do that.

I had a massive stack of paper on the floor waiting to go to the recycle bin and I have not had any visitors today (oh so nice). All of this to say that I was engrossed in what I was doing. Then someone stopped by to ask me something about the people in the office next to me. Their door was shut. The someone blew me off as I stumbled out the answer of who is in there and it’s no big deal they shut the door so we don’t bug each other, you can probably go in. She cut me right the fuck off. Excuse me. I’m working and you just broke my concentration and you can’t wait for me to answer you? WHATEVER.

Also, sick of being called on the phone at home for tech support instead of calling to find out how I am. Only call for tech support or if you need something or to whine about someone else. Wonder why I don’t fall over myself to reach out? Because you don’t give a shit about me. SICK OF IT.

Must get back into my happy space.

Updated: Not to beat a dead horse but this post hadn’t been up more than 5 hours and the phone rang. The caller skipped right past me and talked to the better-half about her damn computer.

Behold the newest addition to my desk:

It’s dead simple to make. Go out to the parking lot. Find a stick. Use masking tape to tape off the sharp edges and then write the word CLUE on it. Begin whacking people on the head. Clues start dropping into their thick skulls.

So it’s no surprise that I work for a large university, right? It might surprise you to know how much our IT system sucks. This afternoon I was in a meeting and the first few minutes were spent saying mean things about how lame our system is…one person went as far to relate a story of how she was talking to the Dean of our School and said she’d rather call her on the phone than email her because she could drive the 20 minutes to campus and see the Dean in person before her computer would even consider sending email. The Dean (the MF DEAN!) said she turns on her PC in the morning and then goes and does something else while she waits for it to stop fingering itself. OK, maybe she didn’t use those exact terms. The point was our IT system blows. And, it’s been especially bad after all those students came back to town. You know, those 30,000 extra people the school has been EXPECTING.

I got home and plunked down in front of my 4 year old computer and said how happy I was to have a fast connection and a speedy machine. The better-half asked me if I was being sarcastic. I said no, I’m serious because our IT system blows filthy chunks. Then he reminded me of the new laptop that I got today and how I’ll think my old one is slow. The new one is pretty awesome, but seriously, a caveman typing with a bird’s beak is faster than what I’ve been putting up with at work.

Have you heard the story of the man who is sitting on a park bench and a dog is sitting next to him? Another man walks up to the seated man and asks if his dog bites. The man responds with No. The dog bites the man who just walked up. The bitten man asks the seated man why he said his dog didn’t bite. The seated man says because that’s not my dog.

I was reminded of this story as I was just walking down the hall. A woman asked me if the water in the water fountain was OK to drink. I said I didn’t know. She said I thought you worked here. I turned around and said I do but I’ve never drank out of the fountain.

She assumed I’d drink water out of a fountain that sits directly outside of the most hellishly consistent bathroom I’ve ever had the misfortune to use. There’s no way I’m going to use a water fountain that is touched on a frequent basis by the people who ruin the bathroom every day. At least I can wash my hands in the bathroom, there’s no way I’m putting my face and mouth anywhere near a water fountain in this building.

More importantly, I consider this one of the dumbest questions I’ve ever been asked. If we were standing outside a squat toilet in outer Crazyistan then I might ask someone about the water, but we’re only in Crazytown, not Crazyistan.