Frog and Goat

We finally broke down and bought a Dyson vacuum. I say we finally broke down but the honest truth is that we just finally took the time to plunk down the money. The better-half was out buying Christmas presents and added the vacuum to his cart. We got the purple Animal model and it rocks.

I used it very quickly this morning since we have a showing scheduled today. After I finished running it the better-half asked me if I still liked it. I think I gushed for 5 minutes about how much I like the vacuum. In fact I related the story of how a little piece of junk on the floor behind his favorite chair tried to run and hide but the Dyson hunted that thing down and disposed of it. I like the thought that the dirt in our house now knows fear.

So you can understand my love of a vacuum, I should tell you that we also have a Hoover Windtunnel that blows chunks. The better-half has cursed that machine since practically the day we got it. I have always hated it but found myself defending it when the better-half would start trash talking it. Even when the vacuum ate part of our kitchen linoleum.

All of that changed a couple of months ago when I was vacuuming our bathroom and the Windtunnel decided to eat the bathroom rug. I go to great lengths to prevent that from happening–standing spread eagle to support two ends of the rug; hoisting the vacuum so it barely rolls on the rug, etc. That vacuum ate the rug and started making that horrible noise that vacuums make and then the smell of the rubber belt grinding on the carpet threw me into a fit. I turned off the vacuum and then beat it with its own attachment sticks. The vacuum was cowed and started thinking about pressing charges. I pressed it back into the hall closet vowing that we’d get a new vacuum sooner rather than later.

Now we have the Dyson and it rocks.

I’m going to the dentist in about a half hour. I’m always happy to go to the dentist because of that squeaky-clean feeling. I’m sure to get scolded for not flossing. Yeah, well, I should also eat better, lose weight and give up my fondness for curse words. Let me just add flossing to the staggering pile of things I should do better.

After the cleaning and scolding, I’m headed to the grocery store. Our household is running dangerously low on key items. Things like toliet paper, tissues, beer, cat litter and cheese. I’ve avoided the grocery store for over a week because I hate going into any store right before a major holiday.

We had dinner last night with our friend C. We went to a place in the booming town of Mechanicsville and as we were eating our salads I interrupted conversation to alert everyone to the fact that there was someone going around to all the tables making balloon shapes. I think I actually said “don’t be alarmed but there’s someone making balloon shapes”. I was a little freaked. The balloon maker wasn’t singling out children and one man was wearing a God-Knows-What balloon thingamabob on his head. Later, C. referred to the balloon maker as a him. The whole time I thought the balloon maker was a her. In case you are in town, Pat the Balloon Maker hangs out on Monday nights at Joe’s.

I got “History of the World Part 1″ for Christmas and we watched it yesterday. There are some gags in that movie that make me laugh every single time.

We also spent time playing games, reading and making probably the last batch of Chex Mix. A pretty good way to end a frenetic holiday.

Last night we made Gluten Free Sausage Balls for the Christmas Eve festivities. The MIL is gluten intolerant so we decided to make something that she could enjoy. Since I couldn’t find a recipe for GF Sausage Balls on the web, I decided to list our recipe.

2 pounds of sausage (we used 1 pound of sage and 1 pound of hot)
4 cups of shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1/2 cup diced but not quite minced onion
1/2 cup diced but not quite minced celery
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 1/2 cup of Wheat Free Biscuit & Baking Mix by Bob’s Red Mill

We pre-heated the oven to 375. We mixed all the ingredients in a large bowl. We used our hands (they were impeccably clean) and then rolled out 1 to 1 1/2 inch balls. We cooked for 28 minutes. They are mighty tasty.

Last night I made Linguine with Squash, Bacon and Goat Cheese for dinner. The recipe was out of Real Simple. Here’s the recipe–serves 6-8 (we cut the recipe down a little):
6 slices bacon
1 2-2 1/2 pound butternut squash-peeled, seeded and diced (about 4-5 cups)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups chicken broth
1 teaspoon kosher salt
4 ounces goat cheese, crumbled
1 1-pound package of linguine, cooked
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper

Cook the bacon until crisp. Drain on paper towels and then break into pieces; set aside. Drain all but 2 tablespoons of bacon grease and then add the garlic and squash to the pan. Sauté the squash for 3-5 minutes over medium heat. Stir in the broth and salt. Cover and simmer, stir occasionally, until squash is cooked (about 20 minutes). While the squash was cooking, I cooked the linguine so it would come out warm at the end. Add half the goat cheese and stir well to combine. Place the cooked linguine in a large bowl (I saved some of the pasta water and added back to the squash to ensure sauce consistency). Stir in the sauce and toss the pasta and sauce. Drizzle with olive oil and then add the reserved bacon pieces, pepper and goat cheese. Serve immediately.

Two recipes in one entry-now that’s a Christmas gift.

This morning I had a horrible flashback to the time the MIL spent the week with us during a hurricane. She stumbled out onto the porch and told me to practice my “exercises” so that I wouldn’t loose control of my bladder as I got older. I was appalled and am still shocked and dismayed by that comment over a year later. That’s something you aren’t allowed to say to me unless you have M.D. after your name.

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Today the new carpeting went in upstairs and while we waited for the men to finish working, we started installing the new kitchen sink and faucet. Because during any job we do together there comes a time where I’m just in the way, I decided to do some cleaning. I started in the den by putting some wood polish on all the woodwork.

Later, I decided the half bath could use a little cleaning. I also wanted to scrape off all the drips of paint the drunk, one-armed, half-blind painters left when they painted the entire house in 15 minutes flat. Ok, that was before we bought the house so maybe they took 20 minutes. What I mean to say is that the paint job is horrendous.

As I cleaned the countertop, I looked over at the new toilet and realized that it was filthy. The guys who worked on our floors last week have, evidently, never actually used a toilet. I can only assume they are used to troughs or the floor, because that’s about how much accuracy they had. Yeck.

The better-half said “boys are sometimes bad about that”. I replied with my sister’s theory that “boys are bad”. Her theory is pretty good. Next time you see her, ask her about it.

Has anyone else noticed how the vet on the PedMeds commercial looks just like the beagle he’s examining? Seriously, the vet looks like a beagle.

This morning LL Cool J was on the Today show and I remarked that “all the ladies do love cool James” because how could we not? He’s talented, handsome and he brought a big fat check to donate.

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The other day I complained that it was too warm for December. Today we’ll be lucky to get to 30 degrees. The wind is adding to the chill. And, there’s a dusting of snow on the ground. Ah, Winter, welcome back.

We had homemade Miso Soup for dinner. And, I whipped up a dish to use up the leftover tofu. I can’t abide wasting perfectly good tofu. I made some white rice to go with.

These measurements are approximately since I just sort of squirted and added the following to a bowl:

1 tablespoon Tempura Sauce
2 teaspoons Sriracha (chili sauce)
1 teaspoon rice vinegar
1 -1 1/2 teaspoon Chinese Five Spice
2 teaspoons sesame oil
6-8 oz of drained, firm tofu, sliced into 4 pieces

Mix the sauce and marinate the tofu for a couple of hours.

The better-half used the grill pan and sautéed the tofu while adding some of the leftover sauce. We served over rice. It was awesome. I think the next time I make it I’ll cut back on the tempura sauce or use soy–it was pretty salty.

Last night we put up the Christmas tree. It is in the dining room this year because we didn’t want to re-arrange the den and make that room look any smaller to potential buyers. Putting the tree in the dining room means you have to move around the table and chandelier to have a clear look at the tree. It doesn’t matter much though because the tree is beautiful. And, it smells divine.

While the better-half strung the lights, I went through our boxes of ornaments and decorated the mantel in the den. Our other decorations this year are very limited. We normally put a lovely pewter Christmas train on the cabinet in the foyer but since some snot-nosed brat stole a domino from our nice domino set (yeah, parents, when you are visiting a house don’t let your kids steal) we’re not decorating any surface at kid level. Steal something off my tree and I’ll find out where you live–you’ve been warned.

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