Frog and Goat

What I want to know, and after discovering the answer to this question all other riddles in the universe will unravel, is do the better-half and I run into more scumbag idiots than is normal to run into in a lifetime or is the world just chockfull of them and it’s like stepping on an ant on a summer day? Something that just can’t be helped.

As you know, we’re buying a house. We close tomorrow. The owners or their agent turned off the power last week. Our realtor got it turned back on. The home owners were supposed to get the house treated for termites. They had an inspection the first Friday of the month. The treatment will be done on Thursday. Gee, couldn’t you get that 15 minutes of exterior spraying scheduled before you sold us the house? The owners fled the area in such a hurry they didn’t even finish clearing out their junk. There’s a gas grill that will be heaved into a dumpster by us (unless you are in the area and want to come get it right now). There are some kid toys laying in the woods just off the driveway that will be pitched at the landfill as well. And, there’s some crap in the garage that I’m not really sure what it is. The battery for the downstairs smoke alarm has beeped every single time we’ve been in the house. Couldn’t their realtor pop for the $1.50 for a 9-volt battery?

At our current house some of the complaints we’ve heard about the house is that the neighbor’s new garage is too close to the driveway. I just cracked up about that. We’ve regretted not having the cash or the savvy to have purchased that lot when it was empty. But, for crying out loud that’s the one thing you have to complain about? I can find a bunch of other things that someone could possibly complain about with regards to our property. Another couple really likes the house and their realtor thinks our house is perfect for them. They just don’t like that our house is on a hill. We’ll get right on fixing that. Hey, having a house on a hill is so much better than building a house on a flood plain. Ask the people down the hill from us. And, frankly, houses with any kind of character in our area are in very short supply. Please feel free to buy a cookie cutter house down the street that’s smack dab in the middle of an old corn field. I’m sure you’ll find lots of nothing to look at to be quite a comfort.

Don’t you think there have been enough days since the election that people should take down their Bush/Cheney signs? We all know they won. Feel smug in the privacy of your own home but keep me out of it.

While we were in Florida I saw a woman wearing her Kerry/Edwards lapel pin. Never mind that we were in Florida a full 9 days after the election. This woman also tried finishing her coffee at a near sprint and ended up dribbling it on her hand. Maybe she was just a nut job.

Speaking of signs, while coming back from Florida we got to see a number of wacky billboards. Other states must have an anything goes attitude on billboards because we saw one about dumbass NC DOT workers (no lie–google it) and then there were many signs of the Repent or You’ll Burn in the Fiery Crucible of Hell variety and who can forget all the Naked Girls/Big Steaks/Truckers Welcome/We Have Showers signs.

We have several appliances we need to purchase for the new house. We’ve been doing some research on the web and while we were at Home Depot today we looked at a number of different products just to get an idea of prices.

The last time I bought appliances (washer and dryer), I just walked into Sears and told them my old stuff had just died and I needed new stuff by the next weekend. When the sales person started telling me all the features, I said that I needed to do loads with jeans and towels and delicate loads and here’s my credit card. I really didn’t care that some washers will hold 16 pairs of jeans. I think the entire process took 15 minutes.

Now, we’re in the market for a refrigerator (I’m convinced that we’ll get one with the freezer on the bottom), a washer and dryer, dishwasher, a gas range w/double oven and maybe a new microwave. Any suggestions on what to look for are greatly appreciated.

Yesterday morning while the better-half and I were making breakfast we saw 5 does in the back yard. They mostly stayed just off the grass in the woods but a couple of them crossed into the grass and then stripped yellowing leaves off the forsythia bushes. We watched them until finally all 5 went down into the gully.

Later, while eating breakfast, we saw them in the front yard. There’s a low spot just off in the woods where deer seem to like bedding down. We figured they were making their way over to that spot to take their morning nap.

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As good Virginians we went out and got a country ham last weekend. Was the ham from Virginia? Heck no. We got a North Carolina ham. You know there are more hogs than people in NC so they should know from ham.

The better-half sawed off the hock.

We soaked the ham for a couple of days. Then the better-half put the ham in a huge aluminium roasting pan to which we added 14 ounces of apple juice, two cups of apple cider vinegar and some cloves. The ham was covered with the other part of the roasting pan and we set the oven for 250. After 5 hours the internal temperature wasn’t even close to the done stage so we cut the heat to 210 and then left it in the oven for another 4 hours.

We had scrambled eggs with cheese and ham this morning and corn cakes (some with blueberries, some without).

Twelve years ago the better-half and I went out on our first date. I’m not one of those people who celebrates “it’s our 46th month of dating, sweetie, here’s a piece of cake” anniversaries, but I am someone who celebrates two anniversaries. The first date and our wedding anniversary. Our first date is an easy one to remember because it was the night before Thanksgiving and our wedding anniversary is also easy to remember because it is engraved inside my wedding band. I’m a staunch romantic, I am.

Tonight we’re going out to dinner to Maggiano’s. I know it is a chain restaurant, but it is a fancy chain restaurant. We’ve tried to eat there before but since we didn’t have reservations we were shown the door. I’m looking forward to it but must confess I have a craving for fried chicken, mashed potatoes and greens right now. Must be the yucky weather that’s making me want comfort food.

Item 1: We have a showing of the house scheduled tonight between 7 and 7:30. We live in the country. There is no glow of the city. It is dark. Real dark. Blair Witch dark at our house (a friend once told us that). Now, I ask you, how much can a potential buyer tell about a house when it is dark outside? I think vampires are viewing the house. They should watch out for the garlic in the pantry.

Item 2: We met with the floor refinishing guy at the new house today. Our realty team let us in (yeah, we have a team–we’re so important). This is the third time we’ve been to the new house and every time it has rained. I bet when we close next week it will be a rainy day too.

Item 3: I read an article a few months ago about the Hmong people. I was unaware of Hmong people until reading that article. Since reading it, I’ve run into several news items about Hmong refugees. Weird, don’t you think?

Item 4: We’re traveling to Northern Virginia for the family Thanksgiving. Today an email went out with short-cut driving directions and a menu list. I guess the email was so we’d all remember to bring what we said we’d bring. The strangest thing on the list…someone other than the host is bringing gravy. I’m guessing we’re getting something out of a can instead of gravy made from the actual turkey juices. I shouldn’t be surprised though. This family breaks out the ketchup for turkey.

My sister asked me to go with her and the Niece today to the Niece’s eye doctor appointment. My sister wanted me along so that I could be the entertainment/distraction while my sister listened to the doctor. The Niece did a good job at the long appointment (we were there from about 9:15 to noon). She only really melted down once and it was a completely warranted melt-down.

The upshot of the appointment is that the Niece will have to wear glasses. Let me tell you, she looked adorable in the sample set of glasses. I told her that I didn’t know if I’d be able to control myself when she starts wearing her glasses all the time because of the need to nibble on her would increase exponentially. She told me she didn’t need glasses and then she asked for her sunglasses. Because they are two completely different things, silly.

We started a new thing today while sitting on the floor in front of the eyeglass case. I whispered that she was “my her name here” and then I hugged her. Then she hugged me and said “my my name here“. It was the best.

While channel surfing this evening, we came across a live Jim Croce video of “Bad Bad Leroy Brown”. Mesmerized, we stayed glued to VeeH-OneClassics. After Jim Croce finished, the station played “Close to You” by the Carpenters. I can’t help but think of a friend I had in college who told me that his mother would say “That poor, poor girl; she had such a beautiful voice” when she heard a Carpenters song. I’ve been ruined by that one statement. Every. Single. Time. I hear Karen Carpenter I am compelled to say “That poor, poor girl; she had such a beautiful voice”. Then, I usually laugh. A terrible thing to admit, but just the other day I admitted that Marky Mark has it going on.

I was dancing around the big speakers (it isn’t the size of the ocean, but the motion of the ocean) to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch’s version of “Good Vibrations”. I told the better-half “here’s someone who isn’t all that good looking but who is All That”. Give it up for Mark Wahlberg.